Embracing the glory & mess of the middle parts
About a month ago, I started thinking about what I wanted my one word for the new year to be. I had my own ideas, of course, about how I’d like the year to go, and words like travel or beauty, family, even gather, swirled in my mind, even as I recognized those weren’t the words mine to grab hold of. See, my one word has a tendency to choose me. It comes … Read the rest
As most of you know, our family is in the process of adopting internationally, and it is our hope to have her home by the summer of 2019! We are very excited about becoming a family of four, and can’t wait to introduce her to all of the people who helped make this possible. While we wait here on the States side, our biggest focus is fundraising. With travel coming up (hopefully in a few … Read the rest
Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week.
I realize that, when asked, most people would say Friday, because it’s on the cusp of the weekend, or maybe even Monday, because it smells like opportunity, and setting lofty goals for the week. I used to be like that, too. But now, every Sunday evening, when I pull out the calendar and map out our family’s meetings and appointments and church services and scheduling needs, I … Read the rest
I wake before the sun most mornings. I keep my eyes closed a few moments longer, relishing the dark and the quiet, the warmth of a blanket on my bare feet, my arm outstretched under a pillow.
I’ve always been an early riser, partly due to the fact I rarely stay up late in the evenings. (The exception, I think, has been the past couple of years, when Atticus’ sleep schedules have been erratic, or … Read the rest
I don’t know when it started happening, but I think it was sometime around when we took you for your first haircut. As you sat in the chair and I watched your soft baby-curls fall to the floor, I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat that had risen up unexpectedly. It’s just hair, I told myself. And it was, of course. But it was also a symbol, a metaphor; my baby was … Read the rest
In September of 2017, we set out on the journey of adopting internationally. We made a decision to grow our family, just like we did when we started trying to get pregnant with our son. September was nine months ago. If I were pregnant again, this is the point when I’d be giving birth. Instead, our daughter sits in a transition home halfway around the world.
I remember the last month of pregnancy with Atticus. … Read the rest
Last week, my son was sick. Between the stomach virus and the ear infection, he was not a happy camper, and sleep was hard to come by in our house. Whether it was his fever or aches, the coughing or goopy eyes, he woke up consistently every one to two hours, for three or four nights straight. On top of that, my husband had just had his wisdom teeth removed, and the pain combined with … Read the rest
My mother was my first country,
the first place I ever lived.
(Nayyirah Waheed)
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Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and, like most of us, I’ve got some feelings about it.
It’s a day some people love and other people would rather skip over. A lot of us, I suspect, are caught somewhere in the in-between. Sometimes, it brings up painful memories surrounding our own mothers, or how we have mothered our children. Sometimes, it reminds … Read the rest
If you’ve been following my story, you’ll know that in late 2017, I started asking questions to try and gather more information about my birth father and my ancestry. It started with a yearly checkup at the doctor’s office and a questionnaire I had to fill out about family history. Literally more than half of it was left blank because I simply didn’t know how to answer. I know it might not seem like a … Read the rest
It’s been over a month since I shared with you that I am on a journey—a journey to recover the lost pieces of myself; to find a solid footing in the roots of my ancestors; to take back the story that was stolen from me by an absent father and a buried heritage.
It’s been three weeks since I dropped my DNA collection kit in the mail, sending it off to a … Read the rest