Wandering in a place called home.

I first heard about the theology of the wilderness from Sarah Bessey. Biblically speaking, the wilderness was often a place of wandering, of exile, of exodus. It was for the misfits, the poets, the prophets, the outcasts. It was a place outside of the city gates, cities where inhabitants lived comfortably with their families and friends and communities. The wilderness was a land of unbelonging. Wanderers were far from any place they had ever called … Read the rest

The Good Stuff: Summer 2020

Hi, friends. Been a while, hasn’t it? What a wild ride this year has been so far. We’ve been pretty much hunkered down since March (side note — I don’t know who needs to hear this but: COVID IS NOT OVER JUST BECAUSE THE WEATHER’S NICE NOW!), and even though New York is opening up, we’re still playing things pretty safe. And then there was distance learning (any other parents feel like Read the rest

Beautiful Honest Things

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Today is day eight of our family’s social distancing and, like everyone else in the world, all our notions of what “normal life” looks like have been turned on their head. We’re limping along, figuring out what’s right and best for us one moment at a time, knowing full well that none of us have it figured out, and what worked the hour before might no longer be relevant or necessary as we move throughout … Read the rest

The Goodness

I lay my head on the pillow, close my eyes, breathe in through my nose. My thoughts wander over my day, stopping when I remember a moment that brought me joy, or a word I wish was unspoken, and I sit with it, that moment; I cup it, stretch it, hold it up to the light. Where were you in that moment, God? I ask. What do you have to teach to me?Thank you, … Read the rest

The number one thing I’m doing for my family’s wellness this year

Six months ago, I bought my Young Living Premium Starter Kit — admittedly a bit on a whim, partially to see what the hype was about. And you guys: I fell in love. Hard. 

I started just by diffusing oils: at bedtimes, mainly, or after a hard day. I immediately noticed improvement in the quality of sleep we get, and how quickly my mood was changed simply by smelling Stress Away (which yes, is exactly … Read the rest

Of stomach bugs & sleepless nights

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Nothing about this day has gone according to plan. There were unexpected white-outs during my morning commute, one of the headlights in the car went out, I had to choke back tears at the office, and then the pharmacy sent a message that my son’s prescription was to be delayed because the medicine was out of stock and they had to order more.

And this was all before 1 pm.

As I write this, it’s … Read the rest

One Word 2020: Rooted.

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It’s that time of year again.

January is upon us, bringing with it new year’s resolutions and fresh starts, so naturally I’ve started thinking about #OneWord365 and what word I’m going to lean into in 2020. Some years, I choose the word with intentionality, a specific goal in mind. Other years, the word chooses me. It comes to me unexpectedly: the first thought upon waking in the morning, while mindlessly washing breakfast dishes or, … Read the rest

The holy & the hard.

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We sit at the table, worn thin from walking so precariously around one another—like on glass, dancing around all the issues because none of us have the language to talk about them, to talk about the pushing away, the protective walls we’ve built, the angry outbursts, the tears at the breakfast table, the locked doors, the concerns about affection, the trauma, the loss, the worry of getting it all wrong, the fear of rejection, the … Read the rest

Closed doors

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I keep the door to her bedroom closed.

My husband or son will open it once in a while, draw back the curtains, trying to let the light in. But there’s something that seems right and seems true for me about having it shrouded in blackness; tucked away, out of sight. Not forgotten, necessarily–but almost. It’s how my heart feels these days. Hidden. Dark. Cold.

She was supposed to be here by now. But … Read the rest

Stretch marks & silver streaks

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I found my first gray hair when I was 22. I was knee-deep in trauma and stress at the time, and I remember that I was inspecting the dark circles under my eyes when I saw it: a silver coil, right in the middle of my part. Graying early in life is hereditary, I’ve heard, and I have a memory of my Papa telling me once that his hair had started going white before he Read the rest