be love

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four and a half years ago, i stepped foot on african soil for the first time. i was overwhelmed and unsure, broken and laid bare in a place that would ultimately change + give me so much more than i could ever leave behind.

liberia was nothing that i could have been prepared for, yet i knew i was following God’s lead. i’d been to this tiny nation with the mandate to “be love” to Read the rest

when i want to keep saying thank you

now that i’ve been out of liberia for eleven weeks, i feel like i’m finally starting to fall into line with the rhythm of life here at home. however, the pace is much different than that i am used to. days are hurried, though not necessarily busy, people preoccupied, though not necessarily productive. i’ve had to fight for quiet moments + be intentional about filling my time with what matters most. i don’t want … Read the rest

a mother’s song

for the past several years, mother’s day has been a hard one for me. i suppose it’s because it draws attention to that which i do not have, that which i am not. ever since i was a little girl, i dreamed of being a mother. i wanted to feel the heartbeat of life in my body; i wanted to gather my sons and daughters into my arms and rock them and soothe them and … Read the rest

learning from the hard places

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as i write this, i’ve been home from liberia for just a little over three weeks. i am finally getting to the stage where i feel like i’ve actually re-entered life here in the states; at first, though my physical body was present in pennsylvania–as weary, worn-down (and cold!) as it was–my thoughts and emotions were in the land of liberty, thousands of miles and an ocean away. it was like a weird sort … Read the rest

when saturday actually means something

as a Christian, this past weekend was full of significance for me. on friday, i joined with countless believers worldwide as we remembered the sacrifice of the God-man on the tree. on sunday, we celebrated with one another the miracle of his resurrection + his victory over death forevermore.

what i noticed, though, is that little was said about saturday. the in-between day. the day of which we don’t know much about. the day that … Read the rest

this is it

today is the day, a day when one season ends and another begins, when old gives way to new, when another unknown journey begins. i sit on my porch, my sanctuary for the last four years, and i’m not really sure how i feel about all this. honestly, i guess i don’t feel that much of anything right now. i’ve been through so many emotions already that i just don’t know how to react at … Read the rest

[title unknown]

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recently, i told you about the decision i’ve made to transition out of full-time missions in Liberia and consequently transition back to full-time life in the States. i also recently shared some of the difficulties i’ve been facing here in Liberia, all of which resulted in an epic unraveling.

i have continued to struggle in every way here in Liberia. physically, i’m exhausted. i’m sick of being sick and tired of being tired. i sleep … Read the rest

holy places

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i’d had a long, hard day; a long, hard week, if i was being honest. dirt under fingernails, feet covered in dust. my bones ached, and my head and heart felt full and heavy. words were few, replaced instead by deep sighs and weighted breaths.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?
his words found me in my thin place, where i felt stretched and sore, barely hanging on. “yes, i’m tired,” i Read the rest

when we’ve come undone

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can i just be brutally, completely, in-your-face honest with you for a minute? this whole being a missionary thing is no joke. it is hard, you guys. really hard. and there are some days where i would rather be anywhere but here, doing anything but this. some days, i feel so totally, completely done. depleted. empty.

i’m having one of those days. only this day has gone on for the past three weeks. i’ve … Read the rest

the thief of joy

comparison

for months now, i’ve been fighting the comparison battle, day in and day out. some moments, i feel strong, and i’m able to keep my head and confidence high. others, i grow weak and start thinking that i’m not at all who or what i want to be, who or what i thought i would be, who or what i’m “supposed” to be. i look around at friends, family, acquaintances, measure their accomplishments and achievements … Read the rest