I don’t know when it started happening, but I think it was sometime around when we took you for your first haircut. As you sat in the chair and I watched your soft baby-curls fall to the floor, I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat that had risen up unexpectedly. It’s just hair, I told myself. And it was, of course. But it was also a symbol, a metaphor; my baby was … Read the rest
It’s that time of year again.
We’re just a few days away from January and new year’s resolutions and fresh starts, so naturally I’ve started thinking about #OneWord365 and what word I’m going to lean into in 2018. Some years, I choose the word with intentionality, a specific goal in mind. Other years, the word chooses me. It comes to me unexpectedly–the first thought upon waking in the morning or washing breakfast dishes or, … Read the rest
I am born.
It is 12:55 am on a cold Canadian winter’s night. My mother has labored long, but I have gotten myself stuck in her birth canal, hesitant, I suppose, to come out and greet the world. She births me through a slit in her abdomen, just as her mother before birthed her, and I, thirty-two years later, will birth my own son. The women in my family give life through our stomachs, it … Read the rest
I’ve felt it running after me for a while now:
The lure of more, more, more; of adding just one extra thing; of filling in every square on the the calendar with this event or that meeting; of staying up too late and waking up too early; of cramming things in during the day’s leftovers; of fighting for a seat at the table; of dissatisfaction and ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ … Read the rest
i am not the type of woman who does well with new year’s resolutions. i’m great at setting them, sure, but at the first bump in the road, the very inkling of the wheels about to come off, i throw in the towel. i think it’s got something to do with my perfectionism, or perhaps my fear of failure. you know those people who hurt others before others have a chance to hurt them? that’s … Read the rest
It should come as no surprise that 2016 was one heck of a year. From a tense election season to international conflicts, these 12 months have made headlines in so many ways. Personally, it was a big year for me and my little family as well. It was a year of changes and new beginnings, a year in which I did hard things, sacred things, beautiful things. And in the interest of living openly, … Read the rest
attention, people of the internet; let’s do REALTALK for a moment or two here, okay? pour yourself a drink, settle in for a little bit, and stay with me here. i may not know much about some things, but i’ve learned a lot about knowing people, and something tells me i’m not the only one who’s been feeling this way lately.
i’m weary, y’all. weary of these false connections forged over computers, of the … Read the rest
i’ve spent this morning writing with a sleeping babe nestled on my shoulder, my one hand holding him close while working with the other. his face is nuzzled against my neck, and he breathes heavily, his tiny body rising and falling in the throes of a deep sleep. he feels safe here and i, for this moment, give thanks. for this moment, he knows nothing of the hardships this world will surely bring one day. … Read the rest
it is late-September here, which means we’re in that mysterious time of the in-between place–the days are still warm, but they’re also getting shorter; summer is struggling to hang on, but the truth is we’re on the cusp of colder winds and leaves too near death to remain on their branches.
autumn is my favorite time of year, and i always find myself eager to rush my way through the other months to get … Read the rest
I’m going to be honest: this story is not for everyone. A woman’s birth is an intensely personal and deeply subjective experience. Yet it also comes along with powerful emotions that can be difficult to sort through and process. It is for that reason that I chose to write out my birth and postpartum story; it’s for my healing. Please do remember that every pregnancy and birth is unique, even for the same woman. My … Read the rest