i am not the type of woman who does well with new year’s resolutions. i’m great at setting them, sure, but at the first bump in the road, the very inkling of the wheels about to come off, i throw in the towel. i think it’s got something to do with my perfectionism, or perhaps my fear of failure. you know those people who hurt others before others have a chance to hurt them? that’s … Read the rest
this december, i will be 33 years old–and i’m quite sure that i still have no idea what i want to be when i grow up.
i’ve lived many lives up until this point, and i believe i’ve lived them well (to the best of my ability, anyway). something about this new one, though; it feels different somehow.
i’ve worked since i was fourteen years old, even earlier if you count all those under-the-table babysitting … Read the rest
i’ve spent this morning writing with a sleeping babe nestled on my shoulder, my one hand holding him close while working with the other. his face is nuzzled against my neck, and he breathes heavily, his tiny body rising and falling in the throes of a deep sleep. he feels safe here and i, for this moment, give thanks. for this moment, he knows nothing of the hardships this world will surely bring one day. … Read the rest
it is late-September here, which means we’re in that mysterious time of the in-between place–the days are still warm, but they’re also getting shorter; summer is struggling to hang on, but the truth is we’re on the cusp of colder winds and leaves too near death to remain on their branches.
autumn is my favorite time of year, and i always find myself eager to rush my way through the other months to get … Read the rest
I’m going to be honest: this story is not for everyone. A woman’s birth is an intensely personal and deeply subjective experience. Yet it also comes along with powerful emotions that can be difficult to sort through and process. It is for that reason that I chose to write out my birth and postpartum story; it’s for my healing. Please do remember that every pregnancy and birth is unique, even for the same woman. My … Read the rest
in lieu of new year’s resolutions (and to show support and solidarity with the #oneword365 movement), i’ve spent the last several januarys of my life carefully choosing a word that i hope will shape the coming year. this is perfect for me for a couple different reasons:
a) it doesn’t lock me into anything. selecting a word over a resolution is open-ended. it leaves room for mistakes and loose ends, and it allows the … Read the rest
a few weeks ago, i had a dream. one of those dreams that stays with you, not just into the waking hours, but days later. some dreams are just that–dreams, nothing more. but this one… i remain convinced this one meant something, means something still.
in my dream, i was at a graduation of sorts. i was waiting backstage in my cap and gown, ready to walk across the stage and into a new future. … Read the rest
this one’s for the women, i think.
see, i’ve felt this stirring in my soul for weeks now. it’s truth, but it’s a hard truth, one that’s easy to forget, easy to let slip away. still, it will not let me go–that’s the thing about truth. it won’t allow itself to be ignored.
and so i keep circling around it, keep coming back to the same thing, the same message. truth must be told, … Read the rest
as i dressed this morning, my gaze fell upon a flatter-than-usual stomach, and i stopped for a moment just to look. and as i wiggled my fleshy hips into a pair of pants that somehow fit looser than they have in days past, it occurred to me:
i belong to a generation of shrinking women.
we’ve been taught that something is beautiful only if doesn’t take up much space. and so we
shrink back,… Read the rest
yesterday, i put my heart on my sleeve for all of social media to see when i wrote this post:
IT’S BEEN A WEEK, Y’ALL. emergency rooms + doctor’s offices, car breakdowns + mechanics bills, grad school deadlines + the end-of-year blur. long days + short nights, weary bones + achy souls. it’s been a week of gritting my teeth + digging in my heels, of emotional highs and lows (mostly lows, if i’m being … Read the rest