i was reading through genesis 16 + 21 this morning, the story of God’s seemingly impossible promise and the years it took for it to be fulfilled. truth be told, i see so much of myself in sarah. i often grow impatient while waiting on God + i try to twist his arm into giving me what i want. i figure if i pray the right prayer, do the right thing, confess the right sin, he’ll give in and bless me. and when that doesn’t work, i turn my back on him and go about it my own way. i try to take matters into my own hands, getting things done on my timeline, how i want them.
genesis 21.1. “now the Lord was gracious to sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for sarah what he had promised.”
what a reflection of God’s character, his steadfast faithfulness. though i try to get in the middle of what he is doing, though i muddy the waters + make things way more complicated than they need to be, he is still gracious and true to his word.
i know this to be true, deep in my heart and soul, in the part of me that houses truth. but the sarah in me is often a petulant child, pouting impatiently + stamping her feet when things don’t go her way. she clenches her hopes + dreams tightly in her fists, scared to let them go. she believes, and then she doubts, and then she laughs, bitterly at what seems so impossible.
and so i know. the sarah in me will laugh again one day. though it will no longer be bitter, but instead the laughter of joy, of dreams come true, of she who can scarcely believe the goodness of he who promised.